lolspeaks.com

January 29, 2007

History repeats itself or deja vu all over again

Filed under: Uncategorized — lol @ 12:06 pm

In 1967 my husband-to-be and future father of my son went to Washington and marched on the Pentagon in protest of a bungled fiasco of a war which was initiated based on lies and false premises. In 2007 my son and (I hope) future father of my grandson or granddaughter, my daughter-in-law, and their Pooch for Peace went to Washington to march on the Capitol in protest of a bungled fiasco of a war which was initiated based on lies and false premises. I truly thought the lessons of the 60s and 70s would last at least through the span of living memory, but clearly I was wrong, entirely wrong.

January 26, 2007

Some people just never learn….

Filed under: Uncategorized — lol @ 10:16 pm
Why does this person still have a driver’s license? (For background on what happened eleven years ago, see http://www.jlsmithlaw.com/News015.htm and http://www.jlsmithlaw.com/News017.htm .)

Gimelstob’s Brother Charged In High Speed Chase

Joshua Gimelstob, older brother of Justin Gimelstob, was charged with reckless driving, leaving the scene of an accident and failure to report an accident after leading police in a chase in Chatham Borough, New Jersey over the weekend, according to a published report in The Star-Ledger. The 31-year-old Gimelstob was released on $25,000 bail.

The incident occurred nearly a decade after Joshua Gimelstob pled guilty to negligent homicide, hit-and-run driving and obstruction of justice in 1997.

Gimelstob was a Tulane University sophomore on a tennis scholarship in 1996 when a campus officer tried to pull over his Jeep Cherokee for speeding. Gimelstob struck the officer, 42-year-old Gilbert Mast, and dragged him for at least 30 feet, according to The Star-Ledger report. Sgt. Mast later died of his injuries. Gimelstob fled the scene and surrendered to police three days later. He was subsequently expelled from Tulane and served six months in an “About Face” program.

In the most recent incident on Saturday, a car rear-ended Gimelstob’s Mercedes SUV at about 4:20 p.m., according to The Star-Ledger. Gimelstob initially stopped at the scene of the of the accident, but when police pulled up, he reportedly jumped back in his SUV and fled the scene. Police gave chase, but the SUV “was flying down the highway about 120 mph, swerving across lanes and cutting off vehicles,” according to The Star-Ledger. Because of the speed, police stopped the pursuit, but eventually caught up to Gimelstob’s Mercedes after it crashed on a median. Gimelstob suffered “superficial cuts and scratches and was treated at Morristown Memorial Hospital and released” according to the police report.

January 23, 2007

My Bohemian friend

Filed under: Uncategorized — lol @ 3:19 pm

After Katrina I had lost track of my Bohemian friend who travels the globe from Africa to the Central Asian steppes and back again. A couple of days ago I heard from him again with very detailed accounts of his pleasant memories of times we spent together. He says he misses me. It feels nice to be missed….It would be nicer yet if I didn’t have to miss almost everyone I care about, all scattered hither and yon.

Short book note: :”What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas…especially murder”

Filed under: Uncategorized — lol @ 3:08 pm

Chance, Jackie. Death on the Flop. NY: Berkley, 2007.

This book, occasionally sub-titled “swimming with card sharks,” claims to be the “first poker mystery.”* If so, I can say with confidence that the great American poker mystery has yet to be written. I sha’n't worry about spoilers since what starts out rotten can scarcely be spoiled later.

Suffice it to say that the heroine/amateur sleuth in the space of a couple of days goes from a state of complete ignorance about poker, not knowing a straight from a flush, to the winner of a major Vegas tournament and queen of the poker babes, all thanks to being coached by some not-quite-so-random hot guy she picks up in a casino and reading the best book on poker, later identified as being written by someone named Hellmuth (LOL).

*CSI did an episode on poker back in its early days, but apparently the publisher does not count tv scripts.

January 22, 2007

Reply to El D

Filed under: Uncategorized — lol @ 5:43 pm

El Diablo Says:

Hi LoL. I hope you chime in on this thread:

http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showflat.php?Cat=0&Number=8865423&page=0&vc=#Post8865423

Hi El D–

I am going to reply to you in a new post since I was just about to comment on this situation anyway. Actually I was going to comment on the companion thread in the Poker World gossip forum in which the former 16 year old paramour of Poker Maven volunteers to answer all questions. First of all, I will never again post directly on Poker World because I will never forgive the treatment my son and daughter-in-law received there, and I do not mean the mouth-running of the little poker dudes. I mean the behavior of Mr. Poker Publisher who is so proud of his integrity and of the quality of his products and of his business acumen and who has alienated almost everyone in the poker business, even those (perhaps relatively few) who are standup people, and who has certainly alienated the hell out of me.

What sort of quality and integrity is it when Mr. Poker Publisher permits the now 21-year-old former paramour to discuss the size of his prize author’s virile member (we are coyly given to understand that it is not inconsiderable) on the website which represents his beloved high quality business (and which indeed is a lucrative, very lucrative, part of said publishing company)? And to discuss a threesome in which Poker Maven disported himself with the 16 year old runaway (”SauraV”) and a 32 year old woman (who was almost too old for the decidedly middleaged Poker Maven)? On a website where threads are locked and deleted willy-nilly and posters are constantly being banned for offenses which range from nothing much to racist and anti-Semitic remarks, SauraV’s thread is allowed to stand, and not only that, Mr. Poker Publisher has posted in the thread to mention that he and his wife socialized with Poker Maven and Ms. 16 year old runaway. And no one seems to think any of this is inappropriate. Indeed Poker Maven himself states that he encouraged SauraV’s thread to demonstrate that he is not a predator. All I can say is OyVey!

Now to Poker Maven’s original post in the thread you cited…..Poker Maven only cares about what people think of him in the (presumably rare) case that such people are smart enough and knowledgeable enough to play in his league. Fair enough. I myself certainly only care about the opinions of people whom I respect. However, Poker Maven has a very narrow definition of what constitutes smart and knowledgeable–which boils down to people who have high mathematical aptitude as he constantly tells us he does. My view is that people who are worthy of respect can have a variety of different characteristics, personalities, and capabilities. And there are people with high SAT math scores (Poker Maven’s ultimate guide to human worth, near as I can tell) who are pieces of dirt and whose opinions of me (or anything else) I don’t care about in the slightest. For what little it’s worth, I am quite sure that my combined SAT scores (from roughly the same era as Poker Maven’s) are higher than his. My verbal and math scores were statistically equivalent and very very high, and I rather doubt that Poker Maven’s verbal score was anything to get excited about. Certainly he never mentions it (not my knowledge), and I have read his raw writing (before anyone has tried to make it readable). And yet I am quite sure Poker Maven would be dismissive of anything I have to say (including my opinion of him). After all, I am female, old, and not hot, so why would he care? Of course, he himself is not high on my list of people I respect, so I imagine we’re even.

In any case, only someone who did in fact care about what people think would have started such a thread. He has been criticized for harboring an almost underage runaway in exchange for sexual access, and that criticism must have stung, because he doesn’t want to be thought a “predator.” So he gets the former runaway to say what a wonderful influence he has been on her life. That’s got to be the case since the next thing she did after leaving Poker Maven’s safe haven was get herself, a young single woman, knocked up. Of course she was better off with Poker Maven than falling into the hands of some pimp and getting herself turned out on the streets and addicted to drugs. But I can’t give Poker Maven a pass on this. Clearly his ego is fed when he buys sexual access to very young women, but a responsible man in his 50s would look more closely into the situation before he started screwing a random young waif who showed up in his doorstep. I will admit that my ego is fed when I have sexual relations with men who are half my age or younger, but all of them are well over the age of consent and I don’t have to pay/support/buy presents at the mall for any of them. We could argue whether Poker Maven’s behavior is or isn’t predatory, but it sure is skeevy.

Finally El D, your assessment that SauraV is a troubled young woman who should have counseling…. She thinks she’s absolutely hunky-dory, and that pretty much settles it. Whether her self-analysis is right or wrong, counseling is useless for someone who thinks she doesn’t need it.

January 17, 2007

People who don’t know what they are talking about should keep still….

Filed under: Uncategorized — lol @ 12:17 pm

A little while ago, I made the following observation:

“Poker is a game of incomplete information. People wager money, sometimes a whole lot of money, that their ability to interpret incomplete information is better than the next person’s. Nonetheless, collectively poker players (at least those who inhabit Poker World) do a miserable job of reading between the lines. ”

Well, now I have an excellent example of exactly such a miserable job. Someone named Bernard Chapin (also known in Poker World as ChicagoY) has seen fit to publish a piece deriding my son and daughter-in-law on a website called mensnewsdaily.com http://mensnewsdaily.com/2007/01/16/so-i-married-a-radical-feminist/. He has taken material derived from an interview with my son and gleaned from the archives of Poker World, interpreted his incomplete information–and gotten it all wrong.

Mr. Chapin writes:

“Before going any further, I must note that her name isn’t actually “Mrs. Miller.” Predictably, this former Woman’s Studies major refused to change her name after marriage, and even gloated in a post about her plans to name her kids something other than Miller. Those paragraphs were quite amusing and I’d love to quote from them, but I cannot as they were deleted over the summer after causing her husband considerable embarrassment.”

What makes Mr. Chapin think that anything Elaine wrote embarrassed her husband?! And it’s not HER plan to use an assortment of family surnames for my grandchildren-yet-to-be-born; it’s THEIR plan. My take on that idea is whatever, but I have supplied them with possible surnames from Edward’s side of the family. Personally I changed my name to Miller when I married, and I didn’t jettison it when I unmarried because I like the ease and anonymity and unethnicity of it, but, as I said, whatever….

But this interchange is what really motivated Mr. Chapin’s article:

“What really “got her goat” was that she found my query about Mr. Miller’s stint on the little screen to be homophobic. She also thought that it would have been unwise for her husband to turn down any type of free publicity. Homophobic? Let’s take a look at exactly what I said:

Allow me to ask you a final, non-poker related question. Your bio mentions that you appeared on Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, where “the Fab Five transformed [you] into a hip, clean cut television personality with Buddy Holly glasses.” I cannot help but ask, why would you do that show? Who cares about fashion and being trendy? It seems to me that with your physics background, work at Microsoft, brilliance at poker, and voluminous publications you’d be a continent above that stuff.”

Let’s set the record straight on this. The Queer Eye thing was MY idea. I saw the call for potential “straight guys” from Vegas, and I thought that Edward’s “story” would interest the producers–which it did. My motivation in making the suggestion to Edward was strictly free publicity for the books, because the publisher depends solely on word of mouth through Poker World to do his marketing–and word of mouth is not appropriate for a beginner book like Getting Started in Hold’em. And, in my opinion at least, word of mouth alone does not generate the maximum sales potential for the more advanced books. Mr. Poker Publisher has repeatedly indicated that he feels that the quality of his books speaks for itself and no further speaking is necessary, but, hey, even Mercedes Benz advertises. Interest in fashion or home decorating or fine wining and dining really had nothing much to do with it. I must say, however, that judging from the large number of posts on Poker World about fashion, food (both cooking and restaurants), wine and spirits, and decorating bachelor pads, the answer as to who is interested in such things is young men who have made a lot of money playing poker and want access to the “finer things,” if only they could figure out exactly what the finer things are. And since when is anyone above looking good, eating well, and living in attractive surroundings? Having a physics degree, being a former employee of Microsoft, and playing poker do not condemn one to live forever like a hobo.

Throughout the remainder of the article, Mr. Chapin paints my son as the victim of a “dworkinite” wife. Besides setting up Andrea Dworkin as a sort of straw woman (I think it is fair to say that her ideas are way out there even among radical feminists), Mr. Chapin’s argument seems to assume that Edward has had feminism rammed down his throat by his wife–to his everlasting detriment. ‘T’ain’t so. As a matter of fact, he and Elaine are in very close agreement on the majority of political issues. As it happens, he is in much closer agreement with her than he is with me.

Judging from the comments appended to Mr. Chapin’s piece, the audience for Men’s News Daily is primarily men who are so insecure that they have imported wives from foreign cultures in which women are trained to be docile and obedient. They are by their own admission unable to cope with the educated and assertive women who grew up in the decades since the start of the women’s movement. On the other hand, my son was reared by an educated and assertive woman, and he has no problem with a woman who has a mind and mouth of her own. If Mr. Chapin had a pair, he wouldn’t be so threatened by “feminists,” and we would be spared his misogynistic rants. (Even some of the poker dudes found Mr. Chapin’s misogyny to be over the top: “this article would be a lot better if the author wasn’t an arrogant misogynist” and “I hate the mysoginy[sic] dripping from your article.”)

January 10, 2007

Boston Legal goes to New Orleans

Filed under: Uncategorized — lol @ 4:25 pm

I am a devotee of Boston Legal for a number of reasons, including my obsessive interest in Candice Bergen’s aging process (she was at Penn when I was, but she flunked out). Since she is about a year younger than I am, I also appreciate the fact that her character is depicted as a sexually active and sexually attractive woman with a horde of younger admirers.

At any rate, last night’s episode had Alan Shore (James Spader) and Denny Crane (William Shatner) take a road trip to New Orleans to defend a doctor on trial for allegedly euthanizing several patients during the terrible week following Katrina. The plot was based on the case of Dr. Anna Pou of Memorial Medical Center who has been indicted on similar charges.

First of all, when will the makers of movies and tv shows ever learn that New Orleanians do not have “southern” accents? I spent the whole hour cringing at the Mississippi syrup flowing out of the mouths of supposed native New Orleanians. (BTW New Orleanians also do not have “Cajun” accents and do not pepper their conversations with “Cher” either.)

As one might expect, there were lots of scenes of the French Quarter, open for business as usual, the New Orleans entertainment cliche. One scene showed dirty-old-man Denny in his hotel bed, surrounded by a cluster of young ladies of the evening who just “followed him home.” (Poker Maven, eat your heart out!) This scene, with the young ladies and Denny topsy-turvy on the bed, led to the episode’s chief insight: in New Orleans up is down. Whatever else the show got wrong, they got that right.

Inspired by that insight, Alan Shore’s closing argument referenced a recent NYTimes article (which I happened to have read) about the stress and trauma that African elephants are undergoing due to the negative impact of poaching and loss of habitat on traditional elephant social structures. The elephants are reacting to this stress by raping and murdering rhinos, clearly an appropriate metaphor for those of us who are struggling to survive Katrina. So now we know, a little rhino rape here and there is only to be expected from those who have endured the stress and trauma of Katrina.

Anyhow the doctor is acquitted, and my guess is that if ever Eddie Jordan brings Dr. Pou to trial (I think he would be a fool to do so), she will be, too. She has had the outspoken support of much of New Orleans’s medical community, and, if the comments on the Times-Picayune website are any indication, of much of the community at large. The only voices against her seem to be Charlie Foti, the once criminal sheriff of Orleans Parish and the incumbent attorney general of Louisiana, who is a whiz at generating self-aggrandizing publicity and who investigated the case (which wasn’t his business to do), and the families of the deceased who are under the delusion that their desperately ill relatives could have survived the horrible conditions if only they had been left alone.

The issue is whether it is murder to give dying patients sedation to relieve terrible suffering, knowing that it might hasten their deaths. Is that the same thing as euthanesia which is not legal in Louisiana? I personally don’t think so. I know that when I was in the throes of my heart attack in the Netherlands, I was asked for permission to have an injection of a clot-dissolving drug which carried a risk of causing a brain hemorrhage and almost immediate death. I was conscious and able to give informed consent, and I did. Knowing what I know now–that the clot-dissolving stuff doesn’t work and the proper treatment is an immediate angioplasty rather than screwing around wasting precious time with drugs–I would have said no. But would it have been murder if I had been unconscious and unable to give consent, and a decision had been made to try to save me with the drug anyway, and I had had the brain bleed and died? I would also say no. Dr. Pou had no illusions that the sedative injections might have some curative value. She was only trying to relieve unendurable suffering, and if the relief of suffering turned out to be the permanent kind, well, so be it.

January 8, 2007

I heart my webcam

Filed under: Uncategorized — lol @ 3:59 pm

One webcam, een grote pik, twee grote tieten, 6000 miles, two orgasms–lekker.

Poker and poker players

Filed under: Uncategorized — lol @ 3:55 pm

Poker is a game of incomplete information. People wager money, sometimes a whole lot of money, that their ability to interpret incomplete information is better than the next person’s. Nonetheless, collectively poker players (at least those who inhabit Poker World) do a miserable job of reading between the lines.

Stupid Questions

Filed under: Uncategorized — lol @ 11:59 am

Over the holidays, a friend and I hosted a reunion party at the Modern Language Association convention for our colleagues, all tenured senior faculty at the University of New Orleans and all looking for jobs, any jobs, elsewhere. All the job-seekers reported interviewers concentrating on why someone would want to give up his/her tenured job and go elsewhere. The reason seems to us to be screamingly obvious. Why would anyone need to ask?

I think the whole issue of New Orleans is a touchy
one. The city keeps saying that everything is OK and
open for business, which is true as far as the Quarter
goes, but people then think the rest of the city is OK too.
And they don’t have a clue as to how thoroughly
the infrastructure has been destroyed and what it
means to live in a city without an infrastructure.
Also they seem to think that we, the displaced New Orleanians, should spend the rest of our lives* without reliable utilities and other amenities of modern civilization enjoyed universally throughout the developed nations, being heroic pioneers rebuilding the city, while the rest of the country blithely experiences business as usual.

I think the situation also arouses both guilt and
fear. There was a recent column in the NYTimes about
the cosmetic “maintenance” required by middleaged
women, and the point was made that without eight hours
a week of attention to appearance, a middle class,
middle aged woman would look like a bag lady:

“These days, I find I spend a fair amount of time thinking about who I am going to be as I get older. The big picture is kind of scary. Saving for my
children’s college! Saving for retirement! Sometimes,
when I forget to take my preventive migraine meds
(low-dose Elavil; I highly recommend it), I wake up at
3 in the morning, convinced that I am going to become
a bag lady.

Other friends, I know, share the same fear. The terror
of falling off the rails, of failing utterly, of being
unable to care for yourself, not to mention your
family is, I suspect, relatively widespread. It’s
certainly present for [Nora] Ephron.
‘I am only about eight hours a week away from looking
exactly like that woman,’ she wrote of her maintenance
regime, contemplating the sight of a local homeless
woman, ‘with frizzled flyaway gray hair I would
probably have if I stopped dyeing mine; with a
potbelly I would definitely develop if I ate just half
of what I think about eating every day; with the dirty
nails and chapped lips and mustache and bushy eyebrows
that would be my destiny if I ever spent two weeks on
a desert island.’ I believe her concern is not just
skin-deep. I think she’s afraid of losing control and
of becoming a throw-away person.

Our society is full of throwaway people of various sorts; all those people we don’t deem worthy of decent health care or education or housing or political
representation. When you hear stories about
middle-class people who fall into bankruptcy because
of, say, medical bills or the costs of caring for an
elderly relative or, often enough, divorce, you
realize that, unless you’re very, very wealthy or
very, very lucky, you are really only one or two bad
strokes of luck away from falling off the rails
yourself. I feel this quite acutely.
Which is why, I think, many of us – even women like Ephron, who on the surface of things has no right to
such worries as she strides past the homeless on her
way to her biweekly blow-dry – have our own inner bag
ladies. They surface in the dead of night, when the
dog barks and there’s no Ambien.

The bag lady threatens. She’s a menace. And we need
whatever armor money can buy.”
—-Judith Warner

That’s it. We’re middleclass people who got thrown
off the rails (well, pushed off by the Army Corps of
Engineers) and have overnight become homeless,
throwaway bag people. It is sooo much less
threatening to construe this mess solely in terms of
poor black people in the Lower Ninth, who, in Barbara
Bush’s estimation, didn’t have anything to lose
anyway, than to think of the comfortably middleclass
who overnight lost everything and are still homeless
after 17 months. If it happened to US, it could
happen to THEM, and why would THEY want to be reminded
of their vulnerability? And they have watched the
federal government which was the source of our problem
simply throw us away. There must be something very
wrong with us since we don’t have our lives back on
track after 17 months….

So here we are, a very affluent colleague permanently crippled and forced into early retirement (or so I gather) because of lack of health care after
Katrina,** almost all of us without a permanent address
(and now the government is even taking away the miserable FEMA trailers), without political representation because we
are scattered all over the country–the Louisiana
delegation doesn’t give a damn about us in the
diaspora and certainly our interests do not matter to
the politicos in whose districts we have landed
(except of course for the mayor of Houston who is
blaming all of his city’s problems on Katrina people).
We can’t take care of ourselves, although the country
thinks we should be able to, because we are being
asked to repair an entire metropolitan area by our
individual unsupported and uncoordinated efforts, thwarted at every turn by bureaucratic red tape and profit-bloated insurance companies. And
who in the rest of the country wants to think about
all that? So they have convinced themselves there is
no problem, and if there is, they don’t want to be
forced to acknowledge it. And tenured faculty out
beating the bushes desperately looking for any job rub
their noses in it. So they pretend that they can’t
imagine why we wouldn’t want to stay in New Orleans.

I was at synagogue the other day, and I was introduced
to some woman who wondered why I was here temporarily
and looking for a place to live. Why didn’t I go back
to New Orleans? I would think it’s obvious–it costs a fortune
to live there in third-world conditions with little medical
care and armed villains roaming the streets
unrestrained by a non-existent court system,
unprotected from normal afternoon rains, never mind
another hurricane. How could a retiree not in best of
health–or even a healthy person in mid-career–contemplate going back for even a single moment? But it clearly isn’t obvious…..

*For example, every single water and sewage pipe in the city is broken. The estimate is that it will take at least 25 years to tear up every street, replace every pipe, and repave every street. And that’s if sufficient funds are available and work gets started at once. Meantime I am told that on rainy days, geysers of raw sewage erupt from manholes in certain neighborhoods. Electrical service, never entirely reliable, has become very iffy, and there is flood water in the natural gas pipes, interrupting the flow of gas and leaving people without heat and hot water–and our fabled restaurants without functioning burners and ovens.

**As I understand it, my colleague and her husband did not evacuate before the storm, and in the chaos afterward, she broke her ankle and was unable to get timely medical attention. She had to flee with her untreated injury. Since then she has had several surgeries, but her ankle has not healed properly.

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