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Well, Poker Maven is at it again.

Some weeks ago Poker World was rocked by the Saga of Brandi Rose, a young and sort of semi-hot (well, semi-hot by the standards of the sex-starved poker dudes) poker dudette wannabe, who, for reasons best known to herself, apparently gave a significant sum of cash to a random old-time gambler (let’s call him Cap’n Crunch) to “hold” for her. The problem according to Ms. Brandi was that he held it way too tight, so tight that she couldn’t pry it out of his hands. I gather that this possibility had never occurred to her. She managed to recoup some of her alleged losses by hitting up other well-known gamblers, and not satisfied with this partial restitution, went public with her complaints on Poker World. However, Cap’n Crunch’s rapacity was not the only problem. It seems that, money issues notwithstanding, Ms. Brandi shared a hotel bed with the Ol’ Cap’n and was shocked, utterly shocked, that during the night his elderly erection somehow rubbed itself along her back. Who would have thought! This occasioned a meltdown in the adjacent bathroom, writing a cryptic message in blood on the wall, and other mishegas. Brandi went on to attach herself to a random young poker dude and supposedly obtained his password and lost a lot of money on his online account. It was also said that she got young poker dude to stake her in a tournament in exchange for anal sex. Well, that is just the bare outline of the saga which went on and on (illustrated by assorted “provocative” illustrations) for the delectation of the hordes of poker dudes who inhabit Poker World.

The saga had pretty much played itself out when a photo surfaced in which Poker Maven is shoving Brandi up against the wall at the Bellagio. Now, Brandi strikes me as a little long in the tooth for Poker Maven’s taste, but there it was, and the poker dudes were making the most of it. When Mr. Highest Quality and Utmost Integrity Poker Publisher was asked what he thought of Poker Maven’s latest escapade being played out on his corporate website, he simply said that after 20 years of working with Poker Maven, nothing bothers him. Ms. Brandi herself went where even Ms. 16 year old runaway declined to go and said that Poker Maven was endowed with a good nine inches, although it is not entirely clear to me exactly how she came to know this (in the welter of foolishness I might have missed that part). No matter how you look at it, nine inches (if that’s what it is) is a mighty hammer, but in this case the mighty hammer would still be attached to Poker Maven, so whatever….

Apparently not content with the attention that this Brandi up against the wall photo had already received from the gossip-mongering poker dudes (those who think the women have the gossip arena largely to themselves are grossly mistaken), Poker Maven decided to start his own thread on the subject, comparing Ms. Brandi Rose to Saura the 16 year old runaway, basically saying that while he knew Saura very well (some might say–indeed have said–entirely too well), he had roughly a ten-minutes’ acquaintance with Ms. Brandi (ten minutes during which she got the measure of nine inches??!!). And he further announced that Ms. Brandi was the only girl he had ever slapped. After going out of his way to kick up a mini-storm, Poker Maven admitted that the picture was staged–something obvious to the reasonably discerning at first glance (for one thing Ms. Brandi may be the world’s worst actress)–and that the so-called slap wasn’t really a slap, more like a flick of the wrist.

So the question arises: why on earth would a well-known and decidedly middle-aged (i.e., old enough to know better) authority on mathematical approaches to poker stage such a ridiculous photo with the intention of having it posted on the internet and then, presumably not content with the significant response the photo received, start his own thread to call further attention to this charade. Ms. Brandi’s motivation for consenting to participate is pretty clear. She has been playing every angle she can think of in her efforts to become some sort of a poker celebrity, or at least personality. Indeed I don’t doubt that poker personality-dom looks like a much better deal than, say, getting a job sweeping up. But why would Poker Maven go out of his way to make a public fool of himself and then call attention to his own foolery?

Well, PM says that this is all a fun little experiment to see who can apply Bayes’ Theorem. O rly?! Yeah, poker dudes, Bayes’ Theorem will be on the test, so y’all better get crackin’. Bayes’ Theorem notwithstanding, it looks to me more like a complete disconnect with any concept of appropriate social behavior–or the world’s worst male midlife crisis.